The Advent of the Giant Spider

Ermahgerd. I'm sitting at Starbucks again, because I can never focus at home. I'm hanging out until Doctor Who is done downloading onto my tablet, but the joint is jumpin' tonight and there's no bandwidth. It's already been over an hour, and there's still 14% left to go on my 48 minute show.

I'm such a whiner. Internet & other technology is magic and I'm actually very grateful. Living without a high-speed connection is super hard, though, after having one for so long. I'm spoiled, but I liked it so much!

Anyway. Jake found a giant tarantula on our slider tonight. I'm not going home. I'm giving up Querencia in disgrace because I don't have the mental fortitude to deal with a spider bigger than my hand, or more importantly, bigger than my shoe. If I can't comfortable stomp it without seeing legs on either side of my boots, I'm out. OUT. I suppose I'll have to man up and go home eventually, but...

NOPE.

Mama don't play. If it has more than four legs, I don't like it. If it has more than four legs and hair, my spirit shrinks down into itself and rocks in a fetal position.

Why did we move to the country, again? Kids' development and my nature deficit be damned. I don't like it.

My show is done and I have to go home now. If you don't hear from me, it's because I died at the many hands of the nightmare tarantula.

God save us.

Sorry, sorry!

How many times have I sat down to write a post about living here, now that, you know, we actually live here? It must be almost a hundred, but things keep coming up. Whether that's being sick, boys being needy (shocker), strange nighttime noises, or whatever, I haven't managed it. I'm a disgrace to blogging. Tonight, though, I'm sitting at a nearby Starbucks with free wifi and being delightfully lazy. I think I only blog when I feel lazy and talkative and don't have anyone to talk to. To be honest, I usually prefer hanging out with Jake and making plans, but tonight I had to be the brave huntress of public wifi, so here I am.

We've been in for almost three weeks now, and we're finally getting a little bit settled. I'm still pretty terrified of country nighttime silence, and you will not catch me going downstairs by myself once Jake is in bed. Whatever it is, it can wait until morning and the uncanny silence is broken. I haven't unpacked more than a quarter of our stuff, but there aren't any closets here, so it's not entirely my laziness happening. There's nowhere to put anything! I'm still going downstairs to the wardrobe box I packed my clothes in to get dressed. I can't find the big plates, but we're not getting our dishwasher until tomorrow and there isn't cabinet space to put them, anyway. In our big, roomy kitchen, there isn't anywhere convenient to put any dishes or food. I've be heard to yell "What's the point of you?!" more times than I care to admit. Trust me to complain about a giant kitchen.

The boys are loving the house and the "field", but they are definitely still adjusting to the change in lifestyle and pace. Dan's favorite day of the week is when we go to Chik Fil A to have lunch and slowly, painfully download a new episode of Daniel Tiger. God bless Mr. Rogers & co., btw. I'm having a hard time keeping them entertained, but today I found the arts & crafts box, so I think it'll be a bit easier from here.

The heat has been insane, and that isn't entirely just me whining. Up to 100 the past few days, no curtains (still...), and no air conditioning. I'm gonna be honest, y'all, I smell terrible. My magnesium lotion deodorant bottle broke in the move, and I haven't been able to make more. Being crunchy is lame sometimes. It would be much easier to run to the store and pick up a stick of Dove or Spirit(?) or whatever, but the aluminum! My crunchiness thinks in dramatic italics sometimes (all the time). Because the phthalates!  pesticides! hormone distruptors! linked-to-cancer! I fully believe in this stuff, but it stresses me out sometimes. I've gone back to apricot scrub on my face instead of oil cleansing because the oil bottle spilled and I don't like how it's still kind of slick. Sometimes adjusting to big life changes is more important. That being said, essential oils have been saving my life out here. Lavender and Young Living's Gentle Baby are somehow tricking Adam into sleeping at night, and I'm eternally grateful. All kinds of other uses are coming up, too, like Lemon in cleaners and Thieves when I was sick. Who would have thought that God made growing things for us to use that work perfectly? Huh.

I have so much more to say, but I still have to go home and *shudder* get out of the car in the dark and open the gate. I do not want to do this. Jake thinks I'm being a baby (and he's usually right), but it's scary to get out of your safe car, in almost complete darkness, turn your back to the dark and pull open a noisy sliding gate. Then pull through, get out of your safe car again, and stand there fumbling with the lock in the dark next to scrubby California brush and trees and feel the mountain lion/rabid coyote/murderer's eyes on you. Ugh. There are lots of things on our list before we get an automatic gate opener (like a BED!), but that's the one I'm going to be stoked on. Jake put up motion lights, so that helps, but I can still feel the eyes outside the edges of the light looking at me.

So.... don't be creeped out! Come visit our sweet new digs! They're ramshackle and rambling and completely happy. But maybe come during the day. But when it's cool. But before winter. You know what? We'll figure it out.

Change

Two nights left in our little home before we move, and I am terrified. Change, even when it's a good & beautiful & exciting change, is still hard. We're leaving everything we know for something strange and foreign. It is exactly what we want in the abstract, but as a concrete thing I'm freaking out. It probably doesn't help that we're only half packed and the movers are coming Monday morning.

I'm so excited that we're getting movers, though! Moving is the worst thing ever, but having someone else do the heavy lifting makes it a teensy bit easier. We found our movers through HireAHelper.com, which is definitely the easiest way to compare and book moving help. The last time we moved we did it all ourselves, but I think I blocked out the painful memory because I barely remember it. I remember friends driving from Corona to Escondido and lukewarm beer.... sorry, friends!

Querencia has been beautiful these past few days we've been up there. It's been hot, but there is always a lovely cool breeze that we can catch on the deck. We had two house cleaners come and help me with the bathrooms and kitchen, and thank God for that. It was gross. Super gross. Like really, really, disgusting. I don't know how bad it might have been if the place hadn't been abandoned for almost a year, but even under the dust was grease, grime, and who-knows-what kind of filth. There was broken glass, staples, and screws on the floor in the dining room, but we got everything cleaned and safe in our main living areas. The garages are a different matter, but there are doors that we can use to keep the boys out of there until we get to it. I worked all day with them, and unfortunately the boys didn't get a nap and there weren't any chairs, so I had Adam in the Ergo and Daniel in the stroller when he needed a rest. All day. I can't wait until we get moved in, because I would have killed for my couch yesterday. But it's clean now, and I can move in with a comfortable conscience.

The carpet is in remarkably good shape, and after Stanley Steemer came through it almost doesn't smell like weed. We were hoping to put in hardwood floors upstairs right away, but since we need new appliances first it isn't going to happen. Not that I'm complaining about new appliances! Especially the washer & dryer. We were going to buy those used, but we got a great deal and I was excited to finally get a set of my own that no one else has used! I haven't had a washer and dryer that didn't charge per load since I left my parents house after high school. That was... a while ago. Like 11 years. A decade. [WHAT IS HAPPENING?!] I don't feel like starting college was that long ago, yet here I am, a full-fledged adult. Seven hard & beautiful years married to Jake, a career fast-tracking then gratefully put on hold to have babies who are now turning into boys, new cities, new friends, new goals & dreams. And that's just in the 6 years since I graduated college. (Don't bother doing the math. Yes, I was in college for 5 years. I double majored and did choir & theatre, okay!) All that to say (?), I'm excited for new appliances. Ha. I get side-tracked kind of easily.

I have lots more to say, but those boxes won't pack themselves. Believe me, I've left them sitting around long enough, just to be sure. MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: invent self-packing boxes! I'd buy that. I mean, I wouldn't actually, but if I had the million dollars from my million dollar idea I would. So... there's that. What was I saying? Do you think there's any chance I'll be less scatter-brained once we move in?