Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Advent of the Giant Spider

Ermahgerd. I'm sitting at Starbucks again, because I can never focus at home. I'm hanging out until Doctor Who is done downloading onto my tablet, but the joint is jumpin' tonight and there's no bandwidth. It's already been over an hour, and there's still 14% left to go on my 48 minute show.

I'm such a whiner. Internet & other technology is magic and I'm actually very grateful. Living without a high-speed connection is super hard, though, after having one for so long. I'm spoiled, but I liked it so much!

Anyway. Jake found a giant tarantula on our slider tonight. I'm not going home. I'm giving up Querencia in disgrace because I don't have the mental fortitude to deal with a spider bigger than my hand, or more importantly, bigger than my shoe. If I can't comfortable stomp it without seeing legs on either side of my boots, I'm out. OUT. I suppose I'll have to man up and go home eventually, but...


NOPE.

Mama don't play. If it has more than four legs, I don't like it. If it has more than four legs and hair, my spirit shrinks down into itself and rocks in a fetal position.

Why did we move to the country, again? Kids' development and my nature deficit be damned. I don't like it.

My show is done and I have to go home now. If you don't hear from me, it's because I died at the many hands of the nightmare tarantula.

God save us.

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